There are times when being a father feels like
he's feeding the hand that bites you.

A Father is not someone to lean on,
but someone who makes leaning unnecessary.

A Father is someone you look up to no matter how tall are.

To be in your child's memories tomorrow ...
you have to be in their lives today.

There's a special bathroom in Heaven for a father of girls!

Fathers learn a lot from children about coping with life.

Fathers don't bring up children anymore ...
they finance them!

"Were you raised in a barn?  Close the door!"

"You didn't beat me ... I let you win."

"Big boys don't cry."

"Don't worry ... it's only blood."

"Now you listen to me, Buster!"

"Coffee will stunt your growth."

"A little dirt never hurt anyone ... just wipe it off."

"Who ever said life was supposed to be fair?"

"You call that a haircut?"

"Hey" is for horses."

"This will hurt me a lot more than it will hurt you."

"Turn off those lights!  Do think I'm made out of money?"

"Don't give me any of your lip, young lady."

"We're not lost ... I'm just not sure where we are."

"As long as you live under my roof ...
you'll live by my rules."

"I'll tell you why ... Because I said so!  That's why!"

"What's so funny?  Wipe that smile off your face!"

"If I've told you once ... I've told you a thousand times."

"Eat it!  It will grow hair on your chest."

"Come here ... pull my finger!"

"Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry!"

"When I was a kid we were so poor ...
I ate dirt and was glad to have it."

"You have it so easy ... when I was your age...
I had to walk to school in 10 feet of snow
up hill both ways."

"What part of "NO" don't you understand?"

"What do you think I am ... a bank?"

"I hope I'm alive when your kids turn sixteen."