Auld Ireland has Leprechauns,
Which are like little elves in green,
They wear green hats, green suits, green shoes,
And are ver-r-ry rar-r-rely seen.
They reside out in the countryside,
Beneath the blades of grass,
They often hide in leaves of trees,
And in the weeds besides one's path.
‘Tis said they can do magic,
Perform all kinds of tricks,
They love to joke and tease the folk,
That get into their bailiwicks.
If an Irishman sees a Leprechaun,
It brings him greatest blessings,
But he must never pick up one,
For that would be distressing.
Leprechauns must have their freedom,
To roam about old Erin's sod,
They find no bliss in Irish fists,
Sure 'n 'twould upset the Irish gods.
A short time back, me cousin Paddy,
Weavin' from the pub one night,
Fell straight down upon the ground,
When a wee one came in sight.
"Sure," Paddy said, as he picked him up,
"I'll take the wee guy home,
Ah, me Missus will forgive me then,
I won't hafta' sleep alone."
Now Paddy, who was in his cups,
Did not think of legendary doom,
He feared much more his wife's upset,
About the pints he had consumed.
But the Leprechaun was frolicsome,
Within the big man's hand,
And just for fun, he bit his thumb,
He knew he had the upper-hand.
Paddy yelled an Irish oath!
Dropped the wee one to the ground!
Then on his knees, poor Paddy went,
Almost landing upside-down!
The commotion woke the Missus,
Who looked out the window from above,
She saw Paddy on his hands and knees,
And cried, "Whatchya' doin', luv?"
"I'm lookin' for me Leprechaun,"
Auld Paddy giggled back,
Then, his Missus slammed the window down,
And with disgust, said, "Well, that's that!"
Poor Paddy slept that night,
Outside amongst the flowers,
He never found his Leprechaun,
Though he thought he searched for hours.
The Missus did not unlock the door,
To let the auld man back inside,
And all of this, 'cause Paddy,
By the rules, did not abide.
So, listen up, you lads and lassies,
Leprechauns are fun and make you smile,
But remember, never catch one,
For they can change your whole life style.
Think back to how poor Paddy begged,
And his Missus wouldn't let him in,
And, sure 'n don't pick up a Leprechaun,
You never know where it has been.